Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Frisky & Friskier

Country MILF Sara Evans quits ABC’s Dancing With the Stars to direct her attention to reaming soon-to-be-ex-husband Craig Schelske, who would apparently really enjoy it. Allegedly, Craiggers has stored thousands of JPEGs of himself throttling his turgid manhood on the family computer, solicited backdoor sex through CraigsList (you really can get everything on there) and gotten boozy and abuse-y with Evans on occasion. Coincidentally, he’s also a (wait for it) right-wing Republican crusader. On the upside, Evans’ next release should be the best country album ever.

Best New Show (This Minute)
Frisky Dingo
on Adult Swim: Why would an evil supervillian need a marketing plan (and all the receipts) for the annihilation of the planet and mankind? And why the hell is it called Frisky Dingo? Who cares? At least I’ll miss Sealab 2021 a little less …

Full-Season Jacket
ABC’s Ugly Betty (cool show) and Brothers & Sisters (melodramatic crapola) have been granted full-season pickups, along with CBS’ Jericho (I’m still rooting for the apocalypse) and NBC’s Heroes (great series that gets better every week—thus increasing that Jump the Shark dread). Meanwhile, the odds at BrilliantButCancelled.com say the next network kill (besides Smith, Kidnapped and Happy Hour, all virtual goners) will be … ABC’s Men in Trees. Sigh. Not that I watch it on Friday night like a big girl or anything—I TiVo it and watch it Saturday morning over a heaping plate of manly bacon while doing curls with one hand and pounding a beer with the other.

The season premiere of Las Vegas (see 10.13 entry below) has been pushed back from Oct. 21 to the following Friday so NBC can squeeze more mileage out of tardfest game shows Deal or No Deal and 1 vs. 100. Fine with me, since it would conflict with Men in Trees, anyway … I mean, bring on the titties and dice!

Why YouTube Kicks So Much Unholy Ass

The Office’s Jim & Pam on the Rated-R tip.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Weekend TiVo Drain

Monday 10.9
How I Met Your Mother/The Class:
CBS flipped ‘em and Mr. TiVo skipped the first 15 of Mother—luckily, CBS’ InnerTube had the full episode, because this show’s all about the details. It’s like Pulp Fiction with a (well-earned) laugh track. As for The Class: From critical Fall Season darling to Monday-night liability in under a month? Kill off some characters, this boat is too crowded—start with the newswoman, her gay ex-boyfriend and her even gayer husband (Sam fucking Harris! The original ‘80s Star Search winner! Miss the mullet, Sam).

Heroes/Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: On Heroes (continues to be a hit; I continue to be happily stunned), Supercheerleader got jacked. Hard. Gotta be tough to bounce back from your own autopsy. Studio 60 seems to be inching closer to the shark-tank ramp every week, but it still blows away everything else on network TV right now (including kindred NBC cousin 30 Rock—more on that in a few clicks). This ep about a stolen joke and scrambling to cover ass for “The West Coast Feed” was probably the most inside-baseball yet, and it still dazzled. Laughed every time at “The bear said, ‘Raaar!’”

Tuesday 10.10
Gilmore Girls/Veronica Mars:
Yes, Lorelei is phoning it in—maybe even texting it in. She’s completely given up on everything but her hair, apparently. And the fact that post-teen Lane is really played by a 30-something actress is becoming waaay too obvious. Gonna be a long, desperate final season. Prospects are brighter on Veronica Mars, which is as strong as ever despite subliminal dumbing-down for The CW audience (there is one … somewhere).

Wednesday 10.11
30 Rock/Twenty Good Years:
May have been premature in declaring that 30 Rock would outlast Studio 60: The latter pulls such an upscale smarty-rich demo that it’ll probably coast for a couple of years on NBC even if the ratings slip; the former tanked ratings-wise on its Wednesday debut, but mostly because everyone thinks NBC quit programming Hump Day after moving Law & Order Classic to Fridays (“They just do an MSNBC news-crawl all night, don’t they?”). It’s still funny, though—and Twenty Good Years is still pure shit. Just so we’re clear.

Lost/The Nine: The Lost: Season 3 DVD isn’t out yet—we’re only three goddamn episodes into it, so quit asking (only a slight exaggeration). The Nine is clipping along at a frighteningly fast pace, like ABC knows something we don’t but can easily guess: It’s dark and it ain’t holding the Lost audience, so let’s get it over with by the holidays so we can trim down the Christmas party guest list.

Thursday 10.12
My Name is Earl/The Office:
Sadly, My Name is Earl seems to be losing it as quickly as The Office is becoming Legendary (capital L, suckas). Earl wasted a slam-dunk guest in Amy Sedaris (Amy! Sedaris!), but The Office killed with the same ol’ cubicle folk. Without Jim around, Pam seems to be getting more diabolical just to keep herself amused/sane (the Million Dollar Baby “grief” story, so left-field perfect it hurt). But, this Tale of Two Offices can’t go on forever; bring Jim back to Scranton. Hell, bring Karen, too—Pam’s obviously ready to throw down.