Bachelor Pad (ABC) The gang participates in a synchronized-swimming challenge! This is a positive development for Bachelor Pad because 1. Despite being dead-eyed soulless morons, they at least look good in swimsuits, and B. Somebody just might drown.
Top Gear (BBC America) Season Premiere: Tonight, guest Alice Cooper will test-drive a turbocharged Jazzy with dead-baby dolls strapped to the front, reaching speeds up to 14 KPH!
Weeds (Showtime) Nancy continues her WT-fuck? sex triangle with her former female jail-mate and said jail-mate’s weed-supplying brother—at least there’s weed involved again, so we’re kinda getting back to basics.
The Big C (Showtime) Parker Posey Alert: Cancer Mom’s teenage son Adam starts hanging out with an eccentric older woman he met in an online support group, played by go-to proto-hipster Parker Posey, now 42. Icky, but still not as weird as what’s going on with Weeds, right?
Also new tonight:
American Ninja Warrior (NBC); Hell’s Kitchen (Fox); Basketball Wives (VH1); American Pickers, Pawn Stars (History); The Secret Life of the American Teenager, The Lying Game (ABC Family); Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel); Millionaire Matchmaker, Most Eligible Dallas (Bravo); Kate Plus 8 (TLC); Hoarders, Intervention (A&E); The Closer, Rizzoli & Isles (TNT); Eureka, Warehouse 13, Alphas (Syfy); The Protector (Lifetime); The Bad Girls Club, Hair Battle Spectacular (Oxygen)
Finger crossed, there are no lifeguards on duty at the Bachelor Pad:
