Friday, December 16, 2011

TV Weekend: Life & Times of Tim, SNL, Survivor, Dexter

What’s new this weekend:
The Life & Times of Tim (HBO) Season Premiere: After two seasons in 2008 and 2010, HBO canceled the animated Life & Times of Tim, then uncanceled it and picked it up for this third run. See, Deadwood and Carnivale diehards? There’s still hope (but not really). Before, Tim (voiced by series creator Steve Dildarian) was a 20-something NYC corporate-office drone with a propensity for turning every situation into an awkward disaster; now, he’s unemployed and awkwardly looking for work (too bad this season was made before Occupy Wall Street happened). Funny, twisted stuff—and you don’t even have to be Adult Swim-level “medicated” to appreciate it.

Steven Niles’ Remains (Chiller) Movie: No, not the remains of author Steve Niles (30 Days of Night), but yet another zombie-apocalypse thriller. The Remains twist: It’s set in Reno, and it’s on an obscure channel you’ve likely never frequented—unless you’re really, really into horror flicks and reruns of Fear Factor and … Harper’s Island? Still, Remains is a notch above the average Saturday-night Syfy filler, both aesthetically and dramatically, and Chiller sent me an elaborate promotional casino box with playing cards and poker chips to say it.

Also new tonight:
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); Chuck, Grimm (NBC); Happiness is a Warm Blanket Charlie Brown, Ice Age: Mammoth Christmas (Fox); America’s Most Wanted, Starving Secrets With Tracey Gold (Lifetime); Sanctuary (Syfy)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30) Fall Finale: Jimmy Fallon hosts, and that nice young man Michael Buble sings. Who wants to bet the sound will be fucked up in the opening sketch yet again? No wagers from anyone at CW30.

Also new Saturday:
CWMA Country Christmas
(ABC); Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns, The Story of Santa Claus (CBS); America’s Most Wanted: U.S. Marshals Edition (Fox); WWE Salute to the Troops (USA); Too Cute! Baby Sloths (Animal Planet); Graham Norton Show (BBC America)

Survivor: South Pacific (CBS) Season Finale: Season Finale: In the ultimate surprise twist, the winner of Survivor: South Pacific will be neither Coach nor Ozzy (and certainly not that idiot Brandon), but Angelea from the recently-completed season of America’s Next Top Model. You may not get it, but reality-TV blogs are blowing up right now. #Angelea

Dexter, Homeland (Showtime) Season Finales: So the whole “Doomsday Killer” arc has nearly fizzled in the homestretch of Dexter’s sixth season, and the side plots haven’t gone much better (Deb has to be the worst Miami Metro cop boss since, well, the last one). And what’s with killing off the most interesting guest stars (Mos Def and Molly Parker) so early? Travis (Colin Hanks) and Dex (Michael C. Hall) are at least headed for a typically epic serial-killer smackdown finale, and those only disappoint in prime-numbered seasons—am I right, mathletes? Similarly, new international-terrorism soap Homeland has careened from iffy to gripping to slippery over the previous 11 episodes, and it’s tough to imagine how they’re going to tie it up, much less set it up for the second season that’s already been ordered. Somebody exhume Jack Bauer, quick.

Also new Sunday:
Allen Gregory (season/series finale, Fox); Geek Love, All-American Muslim (TLC); Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!); The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Chef Roble & Co. (Bravo); Hell on Wheels (AMC); Leverage (TNT)

Obligatory blog question: So what are you going to watch this weekend?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

TV Tonight: Psych, Barbara Walters, Lady Hoggers, AHS

What’s new tonight:
Psych (USA) Season Finale: Shawn and Juliet’s romantic getaway (at “Neil Simon’s Lovers Retreat,” one might gather from the episode title) is wrecked by a robbery, a murder and Shawn’s premature ejaculation … no, wait, just the first two. They’ve learned to work around the other thing.

Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011 (ABC) Would you believe, the Kardashians, Simon Cowell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family), Derek Jeter, Donald Trump, Katy Perry and Pippa Middleton? That doesn’t even add up to 10! WT Fuck?

Lady Hoggers (A&E) Season Finale: In other Shows I Didn’t Even Know Existed news, Lady Hoggers concludes its first season with, presumably, some ladies doing a bit of hogging. That’s what I got; they can’t all be gems.

American Horror Story (FX) Penultimate Episode: Means “next to last,” kids. Tonight, Violet and Tate try to kick some of the other ghosts out of the house, as some of them (OK, all of them) are just such DRA-MA queens. Oh, and Vivien finally gives birth to those double demon babies, thus kicking off The Apocalypse and daring next week’s season finale to top this shit.

Also new tonight:
Survivor: South Pacific, Criminal Minds, CSI (CBS); The X Factor, I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Fox); Hot In Cleveland, The Exes (TV Land); The Real World (MTV); State of Play (BBC America); Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC); Top Chef: Texas, Work of Art (Bravo); Baseball Wives (VH1); Hot In Cleveland, The Exes (TV Land); The Soup (E!)

American Horror Story: The end (literally) is near …

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

TV Tonight: Raising Hope, Unforgettable, Conan

From Today’s new DVD releases

What’s new tonight:
Raising Hope (Fox) Christmas Ep/Fall Finale: Last year’s shiny new comedy has become this season’s afterthought thanks to New Girl—but Raising Hope is still funny as hell. Even a tired ol’ It’s a Wonderful Life holiday twist works for this show, as tonight the family learns what life would be like without lil’ Hope. Bonus: The return of the kiddie’s criminal mom, Bijou Phillips. Merry Christmas, movie house!

Unforgettable (CBS) Fall Finale: A ghost hunter has been murdered, and it’s up to super-rememberer Carrie (Poppy Montgomery) to crack the case. Note: This is not a Christmas episode, even though a dead ghost hunter is exactly what I asked for from Santa.

The Conan One Hour Earlier Best of Spectacular (TBS) Special: Team Coco looks back on a year of basic-cable servitude with clips and surprise guests—hope they got George Lopez! Too soon?

Also new tonight: 
Last Man Standing (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS); The Biggest Loser (NBC); Glee, New Girl (Fox); Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo); Teen Mom 2, I Used to Be Fat (MTV); Storage Wars, Storage Wars: Texas (A&E); Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen)

What might have been on Raising Hope …