Monday, July 16, 2007

Habeas Corpses

Drive Monday 7.16 ( Series Finale: Watch in online, suckers. Unless Fox changes their mind again. Could happen.

Standoff Friday 7.20 (Fox) Series Finale: It’s canceled, have a nice closure—Drive fans do not feel your pain. Lesson learned: Standoff was cool series while it lasted, but now you’ve got to go back out into that great big world and never trust Fox again! Run, baby, run! Don’t look back …

Hex Saturday 7.21 (BBC America) Series Finale: Since the series is/was a British knockoff of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, will it end on a happy evil-is-vanquished note (a la Buffy) or a dark the-battle-has-just-begun atonal chord (a la Buffy spin-off Angel)? Good news, you depressive Angel fans: The Hex finale is really the soft opening for The End of Days, replete with blood, hellfire and other sexy goodness. Also, like Angel, Season 2 (which already aired in England two years ago, lest you accuse me of plot-spoilage) has been more twisty fun than its predecessor, thanks mostly to new lead Ella (Laura Pyper), who’s as oddly magnetic as last season’s heroine Cassie was pretty ‘n’ dull. Now all we need is a spin-off sitcom: Thelma the Lesbian Ghost.

Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law Sunday 7.22 (Adult Swim) Series Finale: Grim week—everything’s ending! Saddest of all is the demise of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, an Adult Swim staple since the late-night block launched in 2000. Not only does Harvey have the coolest theme song (“Do you reeeally want to feel him?”), it’s probably the fastest-paced 15 minutes ever produced for TV; it’s a wonder the average Adult Swim stoner could keep up with the gags. The final episode, in which our depressed and boozed-up hero is forced to retry all of his previous cases, stretches to 30 minutes and is entitled … “The Death of Harvey.” Now that’s closure.

Saving Grace Monday 7.23 (TNT) Series Debut: The Summer of Tough TV Broads continues with Holly Hunter as a hard-living Oklahoma City detective whose life is on Harvey Birdman-like skids until she goes drunk-driving and runs down some poor sap on the road—suddenly, a redneck angel appears to her with a plan for a better life. The Morality Police will probably miss that Advantages of Drunk Driving PSA as they’re losing their shit over Saving Grace’s graphic (even for cable) sex and language, but for you regular folk (read: heathens), this is a strange series worth checking out—and it beats the hell out of House Lite, er, Heartland, TNT’s other potential new Closer companion.

Damages Tuesday 7.24 (FX) Series Debut: Nothing screams Edgy Programming like … Glenn Close and Ted Danson? Believe it. Damages is an over-the-top Legal Drama—capital L, capital D, starring Close as a courtroom version of The Shield’s Vic MacKay in heels and a power pantsuit: All grit, few morals. Damn, now I miss Harvey Birdman even more …