All About Hugh

Daddy, what was Cop Rock? So Pushing Daisies might not be the hardest sell of the new season: CBS’ new musical casino drama (yeah, that’s right) Viva Laughlin doesn’t debut for two weeks, but this one-minute YouTube clip of Hugh Jackman singing “Sympathy for the Devil” (also right) surrounded by slot machines and showgirls should keep you laughing for at least that long ...

Bonaduce Breaking

So last night at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards (one bomb, hundreds of reality-TV douchebags taken care of, just sayin'), hulking freckle Danny Bonaduce pulled a WWE-worthy move and tossed Survivor assclown Jonny Fairplay face-first to the floor, sending him to the hospital sans teeth and blood. Finally, Bonaduce has contributed something to society, although Kanye West felt slighted for not receiving a Piledriver.

What The Only TV Column That Matters™ is watching tonight:

Pushing Daisies (ABC): Debut of the fanciful new series from the folks behind Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me ... so it's probably already been canceled.

The Bionic Woman (NBC): Jaime learns to use her new powers, while everyone else wonders why the guv'ment didn't give her a personality upgrade.

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC): Tranny trouble is a-brewin'!

South Park, The Sarah Silverman Program (Comedy Central): Cartman has Tourettes; Sarah joins an anti-abortion group. Let's all go to Hell, shall we?

Slick Willie 24-7

Former president/future first lady Bill Clinton on Sunday's Meet the Press:

"If you're the Jack Bauer person, you'll do whatever you do and you should be prepared to take the consequences ... When Bauer goes out there on his own and is prepared to live with the consequences, it always seems to work better."

Yeah ... to quote Dwight Shrute: "My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified."

What The Only TV Column That Matters™ is watching tonight:

Bones (Fox): A soccer mom gets blow'd up in her minivan; Jack Bauer not suspected.

Reaper (The CW): Sam and Sock capture more souls escaped from Hell, including the fuckers responsible for Cavemen and Carpoolers.

Eureka (Sci-Fi): In the season finale, Carter and Stark work together to get into Allison's pants, er, save her son from a mysterious virus. Then, the pants thing.

Crock of Love

So the escapee from the '80s Cowboy Biker Poser wing of the Rock & Roll Hall of Wax chose the young, hot girl over the skanky old stripper who might possibly be a dude on last night's Rock of Love? This is the shocker of the century! Well, that and the revelation that reality TV may not be all that real! Can't wait for the Reunion Show next Sunday ...