TV Tonight: Death Valley, Terra Nova, Two & a Half Men

What’s new tonight:
Death Valley (MTV) The Walking Dead gets all the hype—where’s the love for MTV’s Death Valley? This Shaun of the Dead/Reno 911 mashup has gotten funnier (and gorier) every week since it debuted way back in August, dispatching not only zombies, but vampires and other supernatural felons at a far more rapid rate than Deputy Rick has managed over on AMC. But, since it resides in the dead (heh) of Monday night on MTV, Death Valley will likely go the way of last year’s Warren the Ape: A well-done, one-season-and-done series written off as just another MTV scripted experiment. Catch it while you can.

Terra Nova (Fox) Yes, it’s still on. Tonight, something actually happens: An asteroid hits! And … that’s about it. A billion-ish dollars well-spent, Fox.

Two & a Half Men (CBS) Walden (Ashton Kutcher) finally gets around to redecorating the former Charlie Harper/Sheen’s house, which makes Alan (Jon Cryer) misty for the old days—the perfect opportunity for Alan to bust out his Charlie impersonation and drag a little more mileage out of this sitcom “scandal.” Who said Two & a Half Men was out of ideas? Besides Charlie Sheen?

Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars, Castle (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0 (CBS); The Sing-Off, Rock Center With Brian Williams (NBC); House (Fox); Hoarders (A&E); The Bad Girls Club Reunion, Bachelorette Party: Las Vegas (Oxygen); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); Ridiculousness, Cuff’d (MTV), Scare Tactics (Syfy); Bored to Death, Enlightened (HBO)

This is what you’re missing on MTV’s Death Valley: 

TV Tonight: Hart of Dixie, Terra Nova, Weeds

What’s new tonight:
Hart of Dixie (The CW) Series Debut: Rachel Bilson (The O.C.) stars as a New York City surgeon … yes, really … who moves to Alabama to run a local clinic … yes, really. As new fall shows go, Hart of Dixie is less ludicrous than Ringer (it’s still on, by the way) and only slightly smarter than The Playboy Club (ditto), and Bilson is as adorable as ever—but it’s also populated with more Bible Belt stereotypes than Squidbillies. And is “Goin’ South” the best tagline you could come up with, CW?

Terra Nova (Fox) Series Debut: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 6).

Mike & Molly (CBS) Season Premiere: It’s back, it has an Emmy (for Melissa McCarthy), and it still sucks.

Weeds (Showtime) Season Finale: It’s a New York showdown between Nancy and Silas! Who’ll win the weed war? If seven seasons of Weeds have taught us anything, it’s to never bet against Nancy—and that you can’t teach Nancy anything. No word if Showtime has renewed the show for another season, so be prepared for a hellacious cliffhanger or a frustrating grand finale. I don't think I can live in a TV world where there's no Mary-Louise Parker ...

Also new tonight:
Gossip Girl (season premiere, The CW); The Big C (season finale, Showtime); Alphas (season finale, Syfy); Top Gear (season finale, BBC America); Dancing With the Stars, Castle (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Two & a Half Men, Hawaii Five-0 (CBS); The Sing-Off, The Playboy Club (NBC); Shitastic Playboy Club Replacement (KSL 5); The Lying Game (ABC Family); American Pickers, Pawn Stars (History); The Bad Girls Club, Hair Battle Spectacular (Oxygen); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Most Eligible Dallas (Bravo); Ridiculousness, Death Valley, Cuff’d (MTV); The Bling Ring (Lifetime)

Just try and take Hart of Dixie seriously, dare ya: