TV Weekend: Onion News, Grimm, Weirdo, AMAs

What’s new this weekend:
The Onion News Network (IFC, tonight) ONN is back on Friday nights, and anchor Brooke Alvarez is back from the Tired Hospital—just in time for The Fact Zone’s investigative series “Sex In America,” which is more than just a cheap ploy for ratings. But not much more. Welcome back, Brooke!

Grimm (NBC, tonight) It ain’t bad, but could Grimm be made better? Yes! Read how at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

Also new tonight:
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); A Gifted Man, CSI:NY, Blue Bloods (CBS); Chuck (NBC); Kitchen Nightmares, Fringe (Fox); Nikita, Supernatural (The CW); Women Who Rock (PBS); Star Wars: The Clone Wars, ThunderCats (Cartoon Network); Sanctuary (Syfy); The Soup (E!); Boss (Starz)

Donald Glover: Weirdo (Comedy Central, Saturday) It’s a stand-up special with Troy from Community—which is not canceled … yet.

Also new Saturday:
Saturday Night Live: Jason Segal w/ Florence & The Machine (NBC/CW30); Cops (Fox); Primevil, Graham Norton Show (BBC America)

2011 American Music Awards (ABC, Sunday) Every horrible, talentless musical act on the charts together in one place, including Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Marc Anthony, Christina Aguilera, Chris Brown, LMFAO and Nicki Minaj. Am I suggesting nuking the venue and instantly improving the country’s musical outlook? No, not at all. But you could gather some tips from …

Homeland (Showtime, Sunday) The home-soil terrorism drama is damned good, but could it be made even better? Yes! Read how at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) Come watch it at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) for free at 7 pm—only one more episode to go before the winter break, zombie enthusiasts.

Also new Sunday:
The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, Allen Gregory, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Sister Wives (TLC); Kendra (E!); Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, China Il. (Adult Swim); The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo); Hell on Wheels, Talking Dead (AMC); Boardwalk Empire, Hung, How to Make It in America (HBO); Dexter (Showtime)

The next Walking Dead, which you should be watching at Brewvies:

TV Tonight: The Onion News Network!

What’s new tonight:
The Onion News Network (IFC) Season Premiere: Comedy Central’s Onion SportsDome may have tanked, but IFC’s Onion News Network lives to see a second season—likely due to the commanding news presence of one Brooke Alvarez (played amazingly straight-faced by Suzanne Sena, a former real reporter for E! and Fox News). She can even sell The End Of The World effectively: Tonight’s lead story is “Doomsday 2011,” an asteroid hurtling toward Earth that will surely obliterate us all; naturally, you get Ice-T and wife Coco to weigh in on the import of the event. After The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, ONN is all the news you need.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) Accept no tiny-screen substitutes at other bars: The original Sons of Anarchy TV Party is tonight at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+), free on the big screen at 8 pm—be there.

Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars, Body of Proof (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable (CBS); Glee, New Girl, Raising Hope (Fox); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); 90210, Ringer (The CW); Tosh.0, Workaholics (Comedy Central); The Rachel Zoe Project, Mad Fashion (Bravo); Teen Mom (MTV); 19 Kids & Counting, The Little Couple (TLC); Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E)

Kiss your ass goodbye with The Onion News Network: