TV Tonight: The League, Community, Wipeout, Grimm

What’s new tonight:
The League (FX) Dushku Alert: Kevin thinks his hot Krav Maga instructor (hot Eliza Dushku) is hitting on him. So, conundrum: We’re to believe that anyone in The League is taking Krav Maga classes AND the remote possibility of Eliza Dushku hitting on them? Jenny, sure—but Kevin? Just roll with it.

Community (NBC) Last Episode Before “Hiatus”: It’s a combo Christmas episode and let’s-piss-on-Glee episode! God bless us, every one! Thanks, Community gang! See you next … Spring? Summer? Never? Damn …

Winter Wipeout: Deck the Balls (ABC) Christmas (?) Special: Meanwhile, in quality TV programming that actually gets viewers: A full hour of fat dummies getting knocked around by giant rubber dildos! For the holidays!

Grimm (NBC) New Episode, Special Night: A dozen of you might notice that is where Prime Suspect usually airs—tonight, however, it’s a bonus ep of Friday-night semi-hit Grimm, aka Law & Order: GFT (Grimm’s Fairy Tales). Check it out; it’s at least as crime-y as The Mentalist.

Also new tonight: 
America’s Funniest Home Videos, The Great Big American Auction (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (ABC); Parks & Recreation, The Office, Whitney (NBC); The X Factor, Bones (Fox); Weed Wars (Discovery); DUI (TLC); Project Accessory (Lifetime); It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX); Beavis & Butt-head, Good Vibes (MTV); Burn Notice (USA); Gigolos, Dave’s Old Porn (Showtime)

Kevin gets a face/pants full of Dushku on The League tonight:

TV Tonight: The League, Rules of Engagement, Private Practice

What’s new tonight:
The League (FX) Thanksgiving Episode: Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Silverman guest as Ruxin’s father and Andre’s sister, respectively—who will spit out the most inappropriate, horrible things in 30 minutes or less? You’d be surprised … unless you said Silverman, then not at all.

Rules of Engagement (CBS) Speaking of 30 Minutes or Less, did you see that movie? Like the rest of ‘Merica, probably not. Allow me to do you a solid and recommend the DVD when it’s released in a couple of weeks: Rules of Engagement costar Bianca Kajlich plays a very nasty, very naked stripper grinding all up on Danny McBride (aka Kenny Fucking Powers of Eastbound & Down). You’re welcome. Oh, tonight’s Rules episode? A few misunderstandings and dick jokes, the usual.

Private Practice (ABC) Two-Hour Episode: Says here, “The doctors stage an intervention for Amelia after she returns from a 12-day drug binge with her boyfriend, Amelia bonds with an 18-year-old woman as they endure painful drug detox in rehab, and Addison collapses after rigorous fertility treatments.” Jesus, no wonder they needed two hours.

Also new tonight: 
The Big Bang Theory, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (CBS); Community, Parks & Recreation, The Office, Whitney, Prime Suspect (NBC); The X Factor, Bones (Fox); Project Accessory (Lifetime); It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX); Beavis & Butt-head, Good Vibes (MTV); Burn Notice (USA); Gigolos, Dave’s Old Porn (Showtime)

It’s Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Silverman on The League! 

TV Tonight: The Mentalist, The League, Secretly Pregnant

 What’s new tonight:
The Mentalist (CBS) While you weren’t looking (but your mom was), The Mentalist became the new Matlock: A lighthearted crime drama with a charming lead (Simon Baker), good-lookin’ cast and just enough dark touches to keep it interesting. And, as Shawn and Gus hysterically point out constantly, it’s a total rip-off of USA’s Psych. Tonight, The Mentalist borrows from its own network lead-in Person of Interest when Patrick Jane (Baker) pulls some future cognition and fingers a perp whom he thinks is going to kill someone. Heh, fingers a perp …

The League (FX) If you thought last week’s season premiere was 12 kinds of sick and wrong, wait till you see tonight’s The League, wherein the gang brings together anti-Semitism, vandalism, Aphex Twin and the inadvertent debut of My Orgy at Andre’s. In other words, more comedy gold.

Secretly Pregnant (Discovery Fit & Health) Series Debut: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

Bordertown: Laredo (A&E) Series Debut: Cops patrol the U.S./Mexican in the new reality show that will have to go a long way to top last night’s poignant, immigration-themed South Park, “The Last of the Meheecans.” Good luck, A&E.

Also new tonight:
Charlie’s Angels, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Person of Interest (CBS); Community, Parks & Recreation, The Office, Whitney, Prime Suspect (NBC); The X Factor (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle (The CW); Project Runway (Lifetime); Jersey Shore (MTV); It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX)

Still don’t believe Secretly Pregnant is a real show?

TV Tonight: Charlie’s Angels, Parks & Recreation, The League

What’s new tonight:
Charlie’s Angels (ABC) Now that NBC’s The Playboy Club and Free Agents have been killed dead, the next new series staring down the cancellation barrel is … Charlie’s Angels! So, if you’re a fan of humorless cop drama barely acted by passable models with a dash of requisite action, better catch it now—could be gone by next week, as ABC isn’t showing the same “patience” as NBC these days. Tonight’s ep even has one of the Angels (doesn’t matter which; let’s say it’s Minka Kelly) playing in “a floating, high-stakes poker game” on a cruise ship! It’s a ‘ho nuffer level of terrible!

Parks & Recreation (NBC) Conveniently coinciding with the Knope 2012 campaign, Leslie (Amy Poehler) releases her new book, Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America. Pandering for votes? Hey, it’ll do better than my campaign book, Suck It! Salt Lake.

Whitney (NBC) Whitney catches her boyfriend checking out other girls; crazy-chick clichés and jokes-yelling ensue. Since I can’t root for Natasha Leggero on Free Agents anymore, I guess I’ll have to throw my brunette-female-comic support completely behind Team Whitney. Should have seen this coming …

The League (FX) Season Premiere: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

Also new tonight:
Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, How to Be a Gentleman, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (CBS); Community, The Office, Prime Suspect (NBC); The X Factor (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle (The CW); Project Runway (Lifetime); NTSF:SD:SUV (Adult Swim); Jersey Shore (MTV); It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX)

Parks & Recreation makes book talk on radio sound almost exciting: