TV Weekend: Nikita, SNL, Eastbound & Down, Life’s Too Short

What’s new this weekend:
Nikita (The CW, tonight) Tonight, Nikita (Maggie Q) finally learns how Division began—exactly how this pertains to just blowing the place up remains to be seen, but there’s sure to be plenty of smoldering glances, shocked expressions and leather catsuits. Meanwhile, Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca) crashes a press conference and reveals that she’s a not-dead Russian heiress and demands her junkie mommy back. Ditto, smoldering glances, shocked expressions and leather catsuits.



Also new tonight: 
Shark Tank (ABC); Undercover Boss, A Gifted Man, Blue Bloods (CBS); NAACP Image Awards (NBC); Kitchen Nightmares, Fringe (Fox); Supernatural (The CW); Merlin (Syfy); Portlandia (IFC); The Life & Times of Tim, Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); Spartacus: Vengeance (Starz)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30, Saturday) Maya Rudolph (Up All Night, SNL) hosts and may or may not whip out her Whitney Houston impersonation. Also, hipsters Sleigh Bells “perform” “live” and look adorable.



Also new Saturday: 
The Firm (NBC); Cops (Fox); Oddities, An Idiot Abroad (Science); Parking Wars, Billy the Exterminator (A&E); The Fades, Graham Norton Show (BBC America); 2012: Ice Age (Syfy)

Eastbound & Down (HBO, Sunday) Season Premiere: Read about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

Life’s Too Short (HBO, Sunday) Series Debut: Read about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

The Walking Dead (AMC) Join the big-screen throngs at Brewvies (677 S. 200 West, 21+), but show up early—seats go fast. People like free stuff, apparently.

Also new Sunday: 
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Napoleon Dynamite, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Downton Abbey (PBS/KUED 7); Comic Book Men, Talking Dead (AMC); Luck (HBO); Shameless, House of Lies, Californication (Showtime)

TV Tonight: Parks & Recreation – With Louis C.K.

What’s new tonight:
Parks & Recreation (NBC) Louis C.K. Alert: Remember Leslie’s (Amy Poehler) pre-Ben boyfriend from seasons past, Dave the cop (Louis C.K.)? Even though he’s now a big-shot comedian with his own critically-acclaimed cable series and download-able comedy concerts, he’s still made time to return to little ol’ Pawnee. Louis C.K., that is. Dave, he might hang around and become the police chief—if he skips that flight to Salt Lake City, that is. And really, who doesn’t skip that flight to Salt Lake City?

Also new tonight:
Wipeout, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Rob, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (CBS); 30 Rock, The Office, Up All Night, The Firm (NBC); American Idol, The Finder (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle (The CW); Project Runway All-Stars (Lifetime); Jersey Shore, I Just Want My Pants Back (MTV); Archer, Unsupervised (FX), Delocated (Adult Swim)

TV Tonight: Survivor: One World

What’s new tonight:
Survivor: One World (CBS) Season Premiere: Returning for Season 75, Survivor is totally changing things up by putting both tribes in one camp and … that’s it? Oh, they’re also doing a whole women-vs.-men “Battle of the Sexes” thing, and Survivor is back on Samoa for the fourth time. Running out of ideas? How dare you even suggest such nonsense. Besides, just look how goddamned fascinating these swimsuit models (and token geezers) are:



Also new tonight: 
The Middle, Suburgatory, Modern Family, Happy Endings, Revenge (ABC); Criminal Minds, CSI (CBS); Whitney, Are You There Chelsea?, Rock Center With Brian Williams, Law & Order: SVU (NBC); American Idol (Fox); One Tree Hill, Remodeled (The CW); Ghost Hunters, Face Off (Syfy); Hot In Cleveland (TV Land); The Challenge (MTV); Top Chef: Texas (Bravo); Royal Pains (USA); The Soup (E!)

TV Tonight: Cougar Town, Ringer, Justified

What’s new tonight:
Cougar Town (ABC) Season Premiere: Finally! Ill-conceived/received ABC sitcoms like Man Up and Work It have come and died in the nine months since Cougar Town has been off the air, displaced by the equally funny Happy Endings on Wednesdays, but it’s back! Now if Courteney Cox & Co. can just overcome the Last Man Standing lead-in—Tim Allen has already killed twice; just because Cougar Town is a smart, well-written and sharply-cast comedy doesn’t guarantee he can’t take this one down, too.

Ringer (The CW) It’s Still On: In honor of Valentine’s Day, tonight’s episode of increasingly-ridiculous twins-terror soap opera Ringer is titled … “Whores Don’t Make That Much.” OK, I just might have to Tivo it …

Justified, American Horror Story (FX) … Because I’ll be at Brewvies (677 S. 200 West, 21+) watching Justified and American Horror Story with a big-ass beer and a plate of nachos—and you can, too! Justified starts at 8 pm, followed by an Encore Presentation of the first season of American Horror Story at 9. Bring a date; it’s perfect for Valentine’s Day (and free).

Also new tonight: 
Last Man Standing, The River, Body of Proof (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable (CBS); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); Glee, New Girl, Raising Hope (Fox); 90210 (The CW); 19 Kids & Counting (TLC); Teen Mom 2 (MTV); Switched at Birth, Jane by Design (ABC Family); Dance Moms (Lifetime); Ink Master (Spike); Tosh.0, Key & Peele (Comedy Central)

Cougar Town … it’s been too long …