TV Weekend: Supernatural, Doctor Who, Dexter, Hung

What’s new this weekend:
Supernatural (The CW, tonight) Not only does Dean have to deal with Castiel becoming a god in a Columbo coat, but also the Ikea Hell Wall breaking down inside Sam’s hallucinating brain—as expected, he’s not handling either very well. Thank God, er, Cass for whiskey, huh?

Haven (Syfy) Season Finale: This is still on? Anyway, it’s over tonight.

Also new tonight:
A Gifted Man, CSI:NY, Blue Bloods (CBS); Kitchen Nightmares, Fringe (Fox); Nikita (The CW); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Strike Back (Cinemax); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup (E!)

Doctor Who (BBC America, Saturday) Season Finale: It’s now the date and time for the Doctor to die! But, as Morrissey would ask, how soon is now? (Google The Smiths, kids.)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30, Saturday) Melissa McCarthy (of the funny Bridesmaids and the painfully unfunny Mike & Molly) hosts; Lady Antebellum plays some country music.

Also new Saturday:
Austin City Limits: Mumford & Sons/Flogging Molly (PBS/KUED 7); Weird Al Yankovic: The Apocalypse Tour (Comedy Central); iCarly (Nickelodeon); Bad Dog! (Animal Planet)

Dexter (Showtime, Sunday) Season Premiere: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

Homeland (Showtime, Sunday) Series Debut: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

Hung (HBO, Sunday) Season Premiere: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 3).

How to Make It in America (HBO) Season Premiere: It’s like Entourage, but with no money and set in New York. Also, not funny and a complete fucking waste of time.

Breaking Bad (AMC) Second-to-last episode of the season! Come to Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) at 8 pm and watch it on the big screen with a big beer—and no full-frontal nudity.

Also new Sunday:
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Sister Wives (TLC); Kendra, Dirty Soap (E!); Squidbillies (Adult Swim); Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Never a dull moment on Supernatural …

TV Tonight: How to Be a Gentleman, Private Practice, Sunny, Archer

* New True TV featuring Dexter, Homeland, Hung and American Horror Story up now at CityWeekly.net.

What’s new tonight:
How to Be a Gentleman (CBS) Series Debut: Johnny Drama from Entourage (Kevin Dillon) and Cricket from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (David Hornsby, or Mr. Emily Deschanel) star in an odd-couple sitcom about a macho slob and a prim snob who learn Valuable Life Lessons from each other—like, how it’s a good idea to have a movie and a cable comedy to fall back on when this crapfest is cancelled. If nothing else, How to Be a Gentleman will take some of that (undeserved) Worst New Sitcom heat off of Whitney.

Private Practice (ABC) Season Premiere: If there are any ABC viewers left after Charlie’s Angels tonight, they’ll get to see Dr. Addison (Kate Walsh) putting the baby-maker moves on Benjamin Bratt. Your mom will enjoy that; Benjamin Bratt, well, it’s a paycheck.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX) The gang attempts to out-creep Toddlers & Tiaras tonight with “Frank’s Little Beauties,” a children’s pageant gone horribly, horribly wrong. So it’ll probably be picked up for a full season by TLC within the hour.

Archer (FX) Mini-Season Finale: The “Heart of Archness” trilogy comes to an end to make way for the return of The League next week—relax, Archer will return with a real season early 2012. Will Archer’s reign as a pirate king-turned-prisoner of war conclude without dismemberment or death? Sure, if Mallory pays the ransom … oh, shit.

Also new tonight:
Charlie’s Angels, Grey’s Anatomy (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (CBS); Community, Parks & Recreation, The Office, Whitney, Prime Suspect (NBC); The X Factor (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle (The CW); Project Runway, Dance Moms, Russian Dolls (Lifetime); Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo); NTSF:SD:SUV (Adult Swim); Jersey Shore (MTV)

How to Be a Gentleman is a comedy—no, really:

New Walking Dead Season 2 Trailer

Squeal! Season 2 of AMC's zombieriffic The Walking Dead begins Sunday, Oct. 16 (Don't worry, cable-free boozers: Big Shiny Robot! will be hosting it at Brewvies Sundays at 8, just like last year).

In the meantime, there's finally a proper trailer for S2:

TV Tonight: Suburgatory, Happy Endings, The X Factor

What’s new tonight:
Suburgatory (ABC) Series Debut: Stupid name, mostly funny show: A New York City single dad and teen daughter (Jeremy Sisto and Jane Levy) move to the suburbs and discover that everyone and everything there is shiny and fake—I know, mindblower. What Sisto (last seen on Law & Order: Original Flavor) lacks in comedy chops, costar Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm) more than makes up for in an over-the-top-of-the-top performance as a minivan mom from Toddlers & Tiaras hell. Plus, Suburgatory was created by writers who’ve worked on Parks & Recreation and Hung—sold!

Happy Endings (ABC) Season Premiere: The only single-pals comedy to survive the spring is back! In the Season 2 opener, Penny (Casey Wilson) buys a condo, and we all know there’s nothing funnier than a condo. Little real-estate humor there …

The X Factor (Fox) The karaoke trainwreck rolls on into New York and … New Jersey. I only mention The X Factor because I’ll be on Fox 13’s Good Day Utah again tomorrow morning around 8, providing expert (?) commentary about tonight’s auditions. Just go with it.

Also new tonight:
The Middle, Modern Family, Revenge (ABC); Survivor: South Pacific, Criminal Minds, CSI (CBS); Up All Night, Free Agents, Harry’s Law, Law & Order: SVU (NBC); H8R, America’s Next Top Model (The CW); Ghost Hunters, Paranormal Witness (Syfy); The Ultimate Fighter, Blue Mountain State (Spike); Luther (BBC America); Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (Comedy Central); Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo); The Real World (MTV)

This is Suburgatory—and yes, that is Lloyd from Entourage.

TV Tonight: Unforgettable, New Girl, Sons of Anarchy

What’s new tonight:
Unforgettable (CBS) Now we see if the second episode of the cop-adjacent show formerly known as The Rememberer lives up to the promise of the first—since the first wasn’t all that great, the bar ain’t high. On tonight’s Unforgettable, ex-cop-turned-tank-top-wearing-consultant Carrie Wells (Poppy Montgomery) helps a young boy recall the details of a murder he witnessed—which brings up her own painful memories of her sister’s death. But, if Carrie remembers everything she’s ever experienced, anyway, shouldn’t she be over it by now? This show is way complex …

New Girl (Fox) Since Damon Wayans Jr. nor anyone else expected ABC’s Happy Endings to get a second season (which kicks off tomorrow night), he shot last week’s pilot of New Girl. So tonight, Zooey Deschanel and the two other dudes get a new black roommate! It’s gonna be awkward yet adorable!

Sons of Anarchy (FX) In tonight’s ep, SAMCRO (Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original) meets up with SAMTAZ, a Tucson chapter—are you going to argue over the missing “C”? Didn’t think so. As always, you can come to Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) tonight and watch Sons of Anarchy on the big screen (in HD!) with a big beer (in mugs!), totally free at 8 pm.

Also new tonight:
NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS); Glee, Raising Hope (Fox); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); Dancing With the Stars, Body of Proof (ABC); 90210, Ringer (The CW); Tosh.0, Workaholics (Comedy Central); The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo); Teen Mom, Awkward (MTV); Web Therapy (Showtime)

The shit’s going down on Sons of Anarchy—you know, as usual …

TV Tonight: Hart of Dixie, Terra Nova, Weeds

What’s new tonight:
Hart of Dixie (The CW) Series Debut: Rachel Bilson (The O.C.) stars as a New York City surgeon … yes, really … who moves to Alabama to run a local clinic … yes, really. As new fall shows go, Hart of Dixie is less ludicrous than Ringer (it’s still on, by the way) and only slightly smarter than The Playboy Club (ditto), and Bilson is as adorable as ever—but it’s also populated with more Bible Belt stereotypes than Squidbillies. And is “Goin’ South” the best tagline you could come up with, CW?

Terra Nova (Fox) Series Debut: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 6).

Mike & Molly (CBS) Season Premiere: It’s back, it has an Emmy (for Melissa McCarthy), and it still sucks.

Weeds (Showtime) Season Finale: It’s a New York showdown between Nancy and Silas! Who’ll win the weed war? If seven seasons of Weeds have taught us anything, it’s to never bet against Nancy—and that you can’t teach Nancy anything. No word if Showtime has renewed the show for another season, so be prepared for a hellacious cliffhanger or a frustrating grand finale. I don't think I can live in a TV world where there's no Mary-Louise Parker ...

Also new tonight:
Gossip Girl (season premiere, The CW); The Big C (season finale, Showtime); Alphas (season finale, Syfy); Top Gear (season finale, BBC America); Dancing With the Stars, Castle (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Two & a Half Men, Hawaii Five-0 (CBS); The Sing-Off, The Playboy Club (NBC); Shitastic Playboy Club Replacement (KSL 5); The Lying Game (ABC Family); American Pickers, Pawn Stars (History); The Bad Girls Club, Hair Battle Spectacular (Oxygen); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Most Eligible Dallas (Bravo); Ridiculousness, Death Valley, Cuff’d (MTV); The Bling Ring (Lifetime)

Just try and take Hart of Dixie seriously, dare ya: