TV Tonight: Golden Globes, Napoleon Dynamite, Robot Chicken

What’s new tonight:
The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards (NBC) Ricky Gervais is back as your Mean Host—not necessarily Funny Host, as his bastard shtick tends to run out of steam after the first hour (note where all the best YouTube clips will come from tomorrow). On the TV noms side, why the hell are Enlightened and New Girl up for Best Comedy, but not Parks & Recreation? Fucking travesty. And, while I loves me some Callie Thorne, she deserved a Globe for Rescue Me, not tonight’s WTF-nominated Necessary Roughness. And where’s Louie? So many complaints, not enough coffee …

Napoleon Dynamite (Fox) Series Debut: Would The Salt Lake Tribune waste an entire Friday Weekend Entertainment section front page on a complete piece of shit that’s seven years too late? Yes, and they did. This new cartoon take on the 2004 film hit Napoleon Dynamite features all of the original actors’ voices, but also flat artwork and nary a fresh idea. Bring back Bob’s Burgers, already.

Hell on Wheels (AMC) Season Finale: In case you shut off AMC after The Walking Dead midseason finale, a reminder that Hell on Wheels is still on. More AMC reminders: The Walking Dead will return Sunday, Feb. 12, and the looong-delayed fifth season of Mad Men will kick off with a two-hour premiere on Sunday, March 25. Oh, and Hell on Wheels will be back next year. No, really.

Robot Chicken (Adult Swim) Season Finale/100th Episode: Have they run out of action figures and pop-cultural references yet? Of course not: Tonight, Seth Green & Co. take on … Fight Club? At least it’s not Napoleon Dynamite.

Also new tonight: 
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); Undercover Boss, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, Family Guy (Fox); Downton Abbey (PBS); Baseball Wives (VH1); The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Chef Roble (Bravo); Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!); Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain (Comedy Central); Leverage (TNT); Angry Boys (HBO); Shameless, House of Lies, Californication (Showtime)

Not Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes, but funnier:

TV Weekend: Fringe, SNL, Hell on Wheels, Heart She Holler

What’s new this weekend:
Fringe (Fox, tonight) Not only is Fringe finally back after way too many baseball interruptions, but The Artist Formerly Known as Peter (Joshua Jackson) returns, too! Unfortunately, so do those translucent shapeshifters, fringe science’s answer to hairless cats (blech). Fringe is still the only real sci-fi show on the network TV, and possibly the smartest ever created—so let’s see how far the ratings will drop this week.



Grimm (NBC, tonight) Week 2: It premiered well last Friday (even against the World Series), but now Law & Order: Special Grimm Unit faces the aforementioned Fringe, as well as The CW’s Supernatural. This week’s secret weapon? Thievin’ bears. Yes, really.

Also new tonight:
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); A Gifted Man, CSI:NY, Blue Bloods (CBS); Chuck (NBC); Kitchen Nightmares (Fox); Nikita, Supernatural (The CW); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Sanctuary (Syfy); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup (E!)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30, Saturday) The good news: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s Charlie Day hosts SNL! The bad news: The musical guests are limp-dick AOR “rockers” Maroon 5. Can’t have everything.



Also new Saturday:
Cops (Fox); Blue Mountain State (Spike); True Life: I’m Occupying Wall Street (MTV); Pablo Francisco: They Put it Out There (Comedy Central); Wendy Lieberman: Taller on TV (Showtime)

Dexter (Showtime, Sunday) Will Brother Sam (Mos Def, or whatever he’s calling himself this week) survive being gunned down at the end of last Sunday’s ep? Yeah, probably—the only real question here is, how swift will Dexter’s (Michael C. Hall) vengeance be? And should he really be taking on new pals? We’ve seen before what happens when Dex makes friends, and it never ends well. Oh, and there’s some Deb/Quinn drama … what-ever.



The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) Come watch it at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) for free at 8 pm; zombies are better 10-feet-tall in HD with a beer and nachos.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) Series Debut: Read about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

The Heart, She Holler (Adult Swim, Sunday) Miniseries Debut: Read about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 4).

Also new Sunday:
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, Allen Gregory, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Sister Wives (TLC); Kendra, Dirty Soap (E!); Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, China Il. (Adult Swim); The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo); Boardwalk Empire, Hung, How to Make It in America (HBO); Homeland (Showtime); Talking Dead (AMC)