TV Weekend: Supernatural, Portlandia, House of Lies, Downton Abbey & More

What’s new this weekend:
Supernatural (The CW, tonight) Return: In “Adventures in Babysitting” (!), Sam helps a teen girl find, coincidentally, her supernatural-investigator father and, of course, runs into some crazy hell-bitch trouble. Meanwhile, Dean is on the hunt for … Dick Roman. Has he called Mo’s Tavern?



Portlandia (IFC, tonight) Season Premiere: Read it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (IFC, tonight) Season Premiere: Read it at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon (NBC, tonight) J-Fal welcomes actor David Duchovny (Californication) and band Wild Flag (featuring Portlandia’s Carrie Brownstein). Watch-my-show pimpin’ ahoy!



Also new tonight:
Chuck (NBC); Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); A Gifted Man, CSI:NY, Blue Bloods (CBS); Nikita (The CW); Wizards of Waverly Place (Disney); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Merlin (Syfy); America’s Most Wanted (Lifetime); The Life & Times of Tim (HBO)

New Saturday:
Saturday Night Live: Charles Barkley & Kelly Clarkson (NBC/CW30); Cops (Fox); My Cat From Hell (Animal Planet); Fixing Pete (Hallmark); Graham Norton Show (BBC America); Metal Evolution: Grunge (VH1 Classic)

The Firm (NBC, Sunday) Series Debut: Remember that John Grisham novel? Or the Tom Cruise movie? So now it’s a TV show, and it stars Josh Lucas of Sweet Home Alabama and Poseidon fame. Not enough star power for ya? The Firm also has Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica), Molly Parker (Deadwood) and Juliette Lewis (Juliette & The Licks and every movie from the ‘90s).



Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday) Season Premiere: Apparently, this show is a big deal and I’m obliged to write something about it. So … done.

Absolutely Fabulous (BBC America, Sunday) Season Premiere: Not only are Patsy and Edina still alive, but they’re cranking out a whole new season of Ab Fab! Well, three episodes. Lazy Brits.

Shameless, Californication, House of Lies (Showtime, Sunday) Season Premieres, Series Debut: Read it at CityWeekly.net (Items 3, 4  & 5).

Also new Sunday:
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives (ABC); The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Baseball Wives (VH1); The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo); Hell on Wheels (AMC); Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!); Tom Papa: Live in New York (Comedy Central); Robot Chicken (Adult Swim); Leverage (TNT); Angry Boys (HBO)

TV Tonight: Vampire Diaries, Secret Circle, Jersey Shore

What's new tonight:
The Vampire Diaries (The CW) Return: Says here, “Klaus uses violence to convey that no one will be safe until he gets his family back, Tyler tries to cope with recent changes, and Alaric meets a beautiful doctor who is intrigued by his ability to heal.” Unfortunately, said doc is Torrey DeVitto, not Rachel Bilson—really had my hopes up for a Vampire Diaries/Hart of Dixie crossover and/or bloodbath.

The Secret Circle (The CW) Return: Says here, "Cassie shares a deep secret with Adam, Faye asks a mysterious stranger (Grey Damon) for help with a spell, and Diana is ecstatic when her grandmother visits." Fortunately, said nana is Stepfanie Kramer—Dee Dee McCall from Hunter! Wiki it, kids …

Jersey Shore (MTV) Season Premiere: Yes, already. For Season 5 (!), the guido gang is back in New Jersey and, wouldn’t ya know it?, they’re already drunk and fighting. Isn’t it time to move this nostalgia act over to TV Land?

Also new tonight:
Wipeout, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); Project Runway All-Stars (Lifetime); The First 48, Beyond Scared Straight (A&E); L.A. Ink, Hook Line & Sisters (TLC)

Oh, the drama of The Vampire Diaries! 

TV Tonight: Portlandia! Sort of

IFC has made the second episode of the upcoming second season of Portlandia available online, in its entirety! Why? Don’t ask stupid questions, just watch it now and again on real TV on Jan. 13—you Battlestar Galactica nuts will especially enjoy the cameos in “One Moore Episode”:



Also new tonight:
The Middle, Suburgatory, Modern Family, Happy Endings, Revenge (ABC); I Get That a Lot (CBS); Mobbed (Fox); Top Chef Texas (Bravo); Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC); State of Play (BBC America); True Life (MTV); The Soup (E!)

TV Tonight: Work It, Celebrity Wife Swap, Jane by Design

What’s new tonight:
Work It (ABC) Series Debut: This is really happening. A sitcom about two dudes who, for whatever reason, have to dress up as women to land jobs as pharmaceutical reps. I know, I can’t believe I resisted the “Hand-jobs behind Taco Bell?” joke, either. There’s no question that Work It is already the worst new show of the season—but can it go the distance to become The Worst of 2012? Or even The Worst of the 2000s? I’m a believer; I say yes.

Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC) Series Debut: What took so long? How has TLC not already produced this show? Tonight, in the first of what’s sure to be dozens of enlightening household tradeoffs, the wife of not-at-all-loony actor Gary Busey switches places with the wife of disgraced ex-evangelist Ted Haggard. You’d think these poor wives would take to opportunity to just skip the country and never look back, right?

Jane by Design (ABC Family) Series Debut: In what is either a ripped-off Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead subplot or a ripped-off Arrested Development subplot, 16-year-old Jane is mistaken for an adult and hired as an assistant to a big-deal fashion exec (Andie McDowell). Sure, there’s totally enough material here for a series, not a just a movie-of-the-week.

Also new tonight: 
Last Man Standing, Body of Proof (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable (CBS); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); Switched at Birth (ABC Family); Storage Wars (A&E); Teen Mom 2 (MTV); Chopped (Food Network); Extreme Couponing All-Stars (TLC); Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen); The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret: Season 1 Recap Special(IFC)

This Work It trailer features no hand-jobs, behind Taco Bell or elsewhere: