Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj Van Wilder’s not actually in it—but Harold (or Kumar) is! Thus, the best Brit-collegiate romp since Oxford Blues. MGM.com
Afro Samurai Samuel L. Jackson kicks anime ass as a big-haired post-apocalyptic swordsman bent on daddy vengeance. Sucka. Funimation.com
Hacking Democracy Documentary: Electronic voting machines aren’t foolproof. Cynical logic: Fools are just voting for fools, anyway. HBO.com
Happy Feet Cute penguins sing and dance while preaching the joys of communism, separatism and shame. WarnerBros.com
The Shield: Season 5 An Internal Affairs cop (Forest Whitaker) goes after Vic as tensions rise—because things weren’t tense before. FoxHome.com
Turistas Pretty backpackers get jacked up in Brazil in the mash-up of Blue Crush and Hostel no one really asked for. FoxHome.com
More New DVD Releases Full House: Season 6, Mind of Mencia: Season 2, Penny Dreadful, The Pursuit of Happyness, Seventh Heaven: Season 4
BROADBAND
This American Life Ease your way into the television adaptation of the NPR favorite with free video clips from Showtime’s This American Life, as well as radio bits so as to not slip into evil pay-TV shock.
Penn & Teller: Bullshit Thursdays (Showtime) New Season: The second episode of Season 5, and P&T are taking on … Wal-Mart? Says Showtime, the duo will be “dissecting its history of savvy business strategy while uncovering the reasons detractors are so against them.” Now that sounds like bullshit: Wal-Mart has detractors? Just because they hide behind a “friendly” “local” image and sell inferior products below cost in order to hurt competitors who don’t have multimillion-dollar corporations to prop them up? That’s just being cynical.
This American Life Thursdays (Showtime) New Series: Based on the National Public Radio series that … Hey! Come back! Where ya goin’? NPR isn’t all, as Patton Oswalt says, “Un. Listenable. Radio.” Mostly, sure, but Ira Glass’ popular This American Life is real people telling real stories with no quick-cut rushes to the next commercial and teaser—the opposite of “reality” TV, so how does Glass translate it to the tube without selling out? Quite well, TAL-heads; you’ll love the eventual DVD set (we all know you don’t subscribe to Showtime).
Sons of Hollywood Sunday 4.1 (A&E) Series Debut: If real people aren’t your reality-TV thing, there’s always Fabulous Celebrities. If none of those are available, call in the Less Talented/Charismatic Offspring of Fabulous Celebrities—like Sean Stewart (son of Rod), Randy Spelling (son of Aaron) and David Weintraub (well, he manages the other two, and this is his show). But, there’s no reason to care about the showbiz travails of the rich-boy Sons of Hollywood nor, when “singer/songwriter/model” Stewart’s lone talents seem to be looking greasy and never buttoning a shirt, wonder why you’ve never heard of ‘em before now.
Mind of Mencia, Reno 911 Sunday 4.1 (Comedy Central) Season Premieres: If Carlos Mencia really did steal all of his material from Joe Rogan and other comics … shouldn’t the shame be spread all around? Just sayin.’ And, as for Reno 911—when the hell is that Miami movie going to Brewvies? I need a beer.
Prison Break Monday 4.2 (Fox) Season Finale: Having not really watched Prison Break at all this season (not even when Rescue Me’s Callie Thorne guested—and I’m all about her), can’t offer much insight here other than the insider-biz knowledge that Michael and Lincoln will live to still be past-tense broken out of prison for a third season; the rest of the gang, maybe not so much. Next time around, the producers say, the story’s going international—and if Season 4 happens, they’re either going to outer space or Quebec.
Taquita & Kaui Monday 4.2 (MTV) Series Debut: They can’t sing or dance, which is why they were booted from Making the Band 3—and yet here they are with their own series, ready to take another shot at skankdom, er, stardom. It’s set in Las Vegas, so maybe they’ll wind up as dead strippers on CSI. Dare to dream, girls!
The Shield Tuesday 4.3 (FX) Season Premiere: Internal Affairs is still after Vic; Vic is after “Lemonhead’s” killer; the killer is a member of his own Strike Team; the Strike Team’s newest member is … the son of AC/DC’s Bon Scott?! Yes, Australian actor Alex O’Loughlin is the kid of the long-dead singer, and his character has been covertly planted by the suits at the Los Angeles Police Department to become Vic’s replacement. So he’s pretty much a goner.
In Case of Emergency Wednesday 4.4 (ABC) Season Finale: Make that series finale; ABC announced a chunk of early renewals last week, and In Case of Emergency (which somehow outlasted the better-reviewed Knights of Prosperity) wasn’t on the list. Too bad, because the show about a group of 30-something friends (Jonathan Silverman, Kelly Hu, David Arquette and Greg Germann) whose lives somehow went to shit post-high school actually turned into a funny series. Not as funny as Brothers & Sisters (allegedly a drama), but still …
Getting It In the End In case you missed all of the season/series finale action happening on TV tonight, here's what happened:Battlestar Galactica (Sci-Fi) Before the trail resumed, Baltar escaped and was last seen fleeing in a white BroncoStar. As predicted, Starbuck returned from the dead--as Dirk Benedict, not Katie Sackhoff, unfortunately. For the cliffhanger, the fleet is attacked by Commander Adama's mustache from earlier in the season.Rome (HBO) Butt sex, butt sex and more butt sex. Oh, and the fall of Rome. On an unrelated note, I saw 300 last week and was happy to learn that a visionary filmmaker has finally turned all those Molly Hatchet album covers into a videogame. Not enough decapitations, though.The L Word (Showtime) All that was required here was one, count 'em one, decapitation: Jenny's. Did The L Word deliver? No! Look, if you're going to give us hot lesbian sex anymore, some heads are gonna have to roll or we might as well be watching Designing Women, beeotches. Grease: You're the One That I Want (NBC) According to America, Max and Laura won. I don't know/care who they are, either. But if they could be decapitated, sweet.
