TV Weekend: Boss, SNL, Boardwalk Empire, Bag of Bones

What’s new this weekend:
Boss (Starz, tonight) Season Finale: It’s Election Day in Chicago—will Mayor Kane (Kelsey Grammer) keep his seat? Since Boss will be back for a second season next year, yeah, probably. Onto more important matters: Will Kane’s assistant Kitty (Kathleen Robertson) keep her clothes on for another episode? This disturbing trend doesn’t bode well for the aforementioned Season 2.



Chuck (NBC, tonight) Community’s Danny Pudi (did you see last night’s amazing Christmas/Farewell ep? Hulu it!) guests as a new Buy More employee, and a reluctant Chuck has to turn to Verbanski (Carrie-Anne Moss) for help with a nasty computer virus. Good thing: The Buy More Nerd Herd would just declare his computer dead to sell him a new one—just like a certain local company specializing in PC Laptops did to me months ago. Guess what? I’m typing this on the very same “dead” laptop. It’s a miracle!

Also new tonight: 
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); Grimm (NBC); Sanctuary (Syfy); America’s Most Wanted, Starving Secrets With Tracey Gold (Lifetime); The Onion News Network (IFC)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30, Saturday) Noted comedienne Katy Perry hosts, and welcomes musical guests Katy Perry’s Boobs. Or Robyn. Either works.



Snowmageddon (Syfy, Saturday) Movie: Read (some) about it at CityWeekly.net and then make your own Syfy movie.

Also new Saturday: 
The 98th Republican Presidential Candidate Debate (ABC); Cops (Fox); Spike Videogame Awards 2011 (Spike); Metal Evolution, That Metal Show (VH1); Extreme Christmas Trees (TLC); Primevil, The Graham Norton Show (BBC America)

The Amazing Race (CBS, Sunday) Season Finale: As always, the white people win.

Boardwalk Empire (HBO, Sunday) Season Finale: Jimmy considers making amends with Nucky, since it seems a lot less weird now than having sex your own mother, I’m assuming. Meanwhile, Margaret considers a weighty offer from Esther Randolph, the woman who’s prosecuting Nucky. In all, looks like Nucky’s fucked—yes, I have been waiting two seasons to say that.



Stephen King’s Bag of Bones (A&E, Sunday) Miniseries Pt. 1: Pierce Brosnan returns to television (well, cable) in a miniseries about ghosts, love, etc. Also starring Melissa George, Jason Priestly and maybe even Lori from The Walking Dead as the titular bag of bones (but not really).

Also new Sunday: 
Once Upon a Time (ABC); The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Robot Chicken (Adult Swim); The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo); Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!); Hell on Wheels (AMC); Leverage (TNT); Luck (HBO); Dexter, Homeland (Showtime)

TV Weekend: Grimm, Zombie Apocalypse, Allen Gregory

What’s new this weekend:
Chuck, Grimm (NBC, tonight) Season Premiere/Series Debut: Read all about ‘em at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

Also new tonight:
Some Baseball Shit (Fox); Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); Nikita, Supernatural (The CW); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Sanctuary (Syfy); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup (E!)

Zombie Apocalypse (Syfy, Saturday) Movie: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 3).

Also new Saturday:
Cops, America’s Most Wanted (Fox); Possessing Piper Rose (Lifetime); The Good Witch’s Family (Hallmark); Dogs 101, Puppies vs. Babies (Animal Planet)

Allen Gregory (Fox, Sunday) Series Debut: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 4).

The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) Come watch it at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) for free at 8 pm, after some Geek Show Halloween madness.

Also new Sunday:
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); Sister Wives (TLC); Kendra, Dirty Soap (E!); Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, China Il. (Adult Swim); Boardwalk Empire, Hung, How to Make It in America (HBO); Dexter, Homeland (Showtime); Talking Dead (AMC)

Still looking for that damned kid on The Walking Dead this Sunday …

Geek Impact

That whole Chuck vs. Reaper argument? Hack TV critics may not have their "revenge of the nerds" go-to for much longer: Nobody's watching Reaper. I mean nobody. Veronica Mars had three times more viewers in the same CW timeslot last year, and we all know what happened to her.

And as a side note: How is it that Kristen Bell (Veronica) wound up on Heroes this season, but Jason Dohring (Logan) got screwed with a role on CBS' craptacular (but still more watched than Reaper) Moonlight? Now Ghost Whisperer is suddenly high Friday-night art ... sorry, Logan.

Back to Chuck and Reaper: The only similarities are that the shows' leads work in big-box stores and happen to be as good-lookin' as TV stars. That's it. Chuck is an action series with hints of humor. Reaper is a comedy with several toes in sci-fi. When the action slows down on Chuck, the funny ain't there to carry it. Reaper rarely falls flat, no matter what mode it's in. If it were on a real network—say, as a lead-in to Heroes—Reaper would be a Fall Smash. As it is, it's just barely beating out Life is Wild (debuted to exactly 35 viewers last night) and your webcam.

So watch Chuck tonight (and then the multiple reruns on NBC properties Bravo, USA, Sci-Fi, CNBC, MSNBC, Telemundo, etc.), and watch Reaper REALLY HARD tomorrow night. Who knows, could help ...

Chuck You

Chuck, Journeyman Monday, Sept. 24 (NBC) Series Debuts: This is not another hack piece about how the new fall season is all “geeked” out. Damn, TV critics are a creative lot. The titular Chuck of NBC’s new Heroes lead-in works at Buy More (think Best Buy) in the tech-troubleshooting Nerd Herd (think Geek Squad), so of course he’s a girlfriend-free underachiever—until he accidentally downloads the entirety of America’s secret intelligence into his brain via an e-mail (just go with it) and bam! Instant Alias, with clip-on ties instead of wigs. Chuck takes the average-dude-in-over-his-head comedy of Andy Barker P.I. (remember that?) to a new level—the first episode’s chase scenes could be the most hysterically intricate ever shot for television—and nails the balance of smart comedy and sweet charm, not to mention killer action. As for NBC’s new time-travelin’ sci-fi drama Journeyman … at least it’s better than Day Break (I know you don’t remember that).

The Big Bang Theory Monday, Sept. 24 (CBS) Series Debut: Hyper-intelligent geeks struggle to meet hot girls; middling comedy ensues. On the upside, The Big Bang Theory actually makes Rules of Engagement seem funny an hour later—score, CBS!

Cane Tuesday, Sept. 25 (CBS) Series Debut: Jimmy Smits presides over a Cuban-American family’s sugar and rum empire in Florida; middling soap-opera drama and intrigue ensue. CBS has promoted Cane with Mojito-flavored lick-strips in magazines, so at least one original idea has come from all of this.

Reaper Tuesday, Sept. 25 (The CW) Series Debut: Another nerdy guy toiling away in a big-box store is thrust into extraordinary circumstances—similarities to Chuck don’t quite end there; instead of being forced to moonlight for the government, Reaper’s Sam has new gig with Satan. Tomato, tomato. But, whereas Chuck star Zachary Levi carries his show with confident ease, Reaper’s Bret Harrison (late of Fox’s The Loop) is upstaged at every turn by slacker bud Sock (Invasion’s Tyler Labine) and the Devil (Twin Peaks’ Ray Wise), who bought Sam’s soul before he was even born—enough about Britney being a bad parent—and now employs him to hunt down escaped Hell-ions. Reaper has a funny, crackerjack Kevin Smith-directed pilot ep, but is it too smart for the viewers of lead-in Beauty & the Geek? Oh, hell yes.

Private Practice, Dirty Sexy Money Wednesday, Sept. 26 (ABC) Series Debuts: Ever seen Kate Walsh on a talk show? Hi-larious. She’s also probably more capable of carrying a show than anyone back on Grey’s Anatomy, from whence Private Practice spun-off last spring in a lame tentative “pilot” episode. Fortunately, the final Addison-does-Cali product is far better, and this is coming from a guy who hates Grey’s Anatomy. I mean, really, really hates Grey’s Anatomy. Oh, and ABC didn’t send me Dirty Sexy Money, so fuck it.

The Bionic Woman, Life Wednesday, Sept. 26 (NBC) Series Debuts: The good news: The Bionic Woman lives up to nearly all of its Battlestar Galactica-pedigreed buzz. The bad news: That buzz is limited to the relatively small audience of Galactica (sorry, not everybody reads your blog), and Michelle Ryan’s performance in the title role is so stiff you may wonder if she’s not entirely circuitry and silicone. The best news: Matters not, because The Bionic Woman is dark, taut, action-packed and riveting every second that Battlestar Galactica’s Katee Sackhoff appears onscreen as the first bionic woman who’s gone rogue and quite insane. She’s out to kill her 2.0, and The Only TV Column That Matters™ is rooting for her—I wanna see that series. I don’t, however, want to see another cop show. Life is another cop show. Ergo …