TV Weekend: Fringe, SNL, Hell on Wheels, Heart She Holler

What’s new this weekend:
Fringe (Fox, tonight) Not only is Fringe finally back after way too many baseball interruptions, but The Artist Formerly Known as Peter (Joshua Jackson) returns, too! Unfortunately, so do those translucent shapeshifters, fringe science’s answer to hairless cats (blech). Fringe is still the only real sci-fi show on the network TV, and possibly the smartest ever created—so let’s see how far the ratings will drop this week.



Grimm (NBC, tonight) Week 2: It premiered well last Friday (even against the World Series), but now Law & Order: Special Grimm Unit faces the aforementioned Fringe, as well as The CW’s Supernatural. This week’s secret weapon? Thievin’ bears. Yes, really.

Also new tonight:
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); A Gifted Man, CSI:NY, Blue Bloods (CBS); Chuck (NBC); Kitchen Nightmares (Fox); Nikita, Supernatural (The CW); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Sanctuary (Syfy); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup (E!)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30, Saturday) The good news: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s Charlie Day hosts SNL! The bad news: The musical guests are limp-dick AOR “rockers” Maroon 5. Can’t have everything.



Also new Saturday:
Cops (Fox); Blue Mountain State (Spike); True Life: I’m Occupying Wall Street (MTV); Pablo Francisco: They Put it Out There (Comedy Central); Wendy Lieberman: Taller on TV (Showtime)

Dexter (Showtime, Sunday) Will Brother Sam (Mos Def, or whatever he’s calling himself this week) survive being gunned down at the end of last Sunday’s ep? Yeah, probably—the only real question here is, how swift will Dexter’s (Michael C. Hall) vengeance be? And should he really be taking on new pals? We’ve seen before what happens when Dex makes friends, and it never ends well. Oh, and there’s some Deb/Quinn drama … what-ever.



The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) Come watch it at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) for free at 8 pm; zombies are better 10-feet-tall in HD with a beer and nachos.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) Series Debut: Read about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

The Heart, She Holler (Adult Swim, Sunday) Miniseries Debut: Read about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 4).

Also new Sunday:
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); The Simpsons, Allen Gregory, Family Guy, American Dad (Fox); Sister Wives (TLC); Kendra, Dirty Soap (E!); Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, China Il. (Adult Swim); The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo); Boardwalk Empire, Hung, How to Make It in America (HBO); Homeland (Showtime); Talking Dead (AMC)

TV Tonight: Parks & Rec, Late Night, Bones, Burn Notice

What’s new tonight:
Parks & Recreation (NBC) A nutjob Pawnee religious group says it’s The End of the World, so of course the Parks & Rec gang takes them seriously—hey, it’s Indiana. Reactions: April helps Andy with his bucket list, Tom throws a big-ass party (by Entertainment 720, natch), and Ron most likely holes up in a bunker to ride it out and come out the other side as The Omega Man (Wiki it, kids). I’d so watch that show.

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon (NBC) Tonight, Jimmy welcomes actress Kirsten Dunst, Talking Dead host Chris Hardwick and musical guests Air Supply. Note: The drummer of my so-called band, Spork, is also employed as the touring drummer for Air Supply—due to a suspicious illness that has befallen Late Night house band The Roots’ skinsman Questlove (comb infection?), CJ Spork (a.k.a. CJ Burton) will be backing Air Supply tonight on the TV box. If he doesn’t pass Dunst a Spork CD, he’s totally out of the band.

Bones (Fox) Season Premiere: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

Burn Notice (USA) Fall Premiere: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 3).

Also new tonight:
Charlie’s Angels, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (CBS); Community, The Office, Whitney, Prime Suspect (NBC); The X Factor (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle (The CW); Project Accessory (Lifetime); It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The League (FX); Beavis & Butt-head, Good Vibes (MTV); Gigolos, Dave’s Old Porn (Showtime)

The End is nigh on Parks & Recreation … again …

TV Tonight: Top Chef Texas, Up All Night, American Horror Story

What’s new tonight:
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo) Season Premiere: Host Padma Lakshmi in Daisy Dukes eating BBQ ribs? Sold. There’s probably more to the latest edition of the Top Chef competition, set in “Texas” as a whole, not any one Lone Star State city, but the promos don’t really spell it out. Tonight’s season premiere kicks off in Austin, the most un-Texas town in the land; after that, redneckery galore!

Up All Night (NBC) Tonight, we meet Reagan’s (Christina Applegate) estranged parents, who happen to be Blythe Danner and Richard Schiff, and they’re uncomfortably affectionate—an odd combo with “estranged,” hence, comedy.

American Horror Story (FX) Halloween Pt. 2: FX’s highest-rated show, like, ever, is also just fucking stressful: How many horrible things can happen in one Halloween night? You’ll find out in the second half, as well as (finally) a little more backstory on creepy Tate and the real reason that Zachary Quinto came out of the closet right before his guest arc on the show (he plays a bitchy-gay ghost waaay too convincingly).

Also new tonight:
The Middle, Suburgatory, Modern Family, Happy Endings, Revenge (ABC); Survivor: South Pacific, Criminal Minds, CSI (CBS); Harry’s Law, Law & Order: SVU (NBC); The X Factor (Fox); America’s Next Top Model (The CW); Steve Jobs: One Last Thing (PBS); Ghost Hunters (Syfy); The Ultimate Fighter, Blue Mountain State (Spike); Law & Order: UK, Whitechapel (BBC America); South Park, Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (Comedy Central); Work of Art (Bravo); The Real World (MTV); Penn & Teller Tell a Lie (Discovery)

This isn’t even half of the shit going down on American Horror Story tonight:

TV Tonight: Covert Affairs, New Girl, Ringer

What’s new tonight:
Covert Affairs (USA) Fall Premiere: When last we left CIA Annie (Piper Perabo), her sister (Anne Dudek) had finally figured out Annie’s secret job and kicked her ass out of the guest house—way to be a patriot, sis. Now, Annie’s looking for a new apartment and infiltrating a Basque separatist group that’s looking to blow shit up. Conveniently, her contact within the group is a hunky Spanish dude (cue “sexy time” music).

New Girl (Fox) Return: Fox’s biggest new fall hit is back after being forced off for a month due to baseball—think everybody still remembers and just loooves quirky Zooey Deschanel? Tonight, she laughs at her naked roommate, causing wackiness to ensue, and the New Black Guy brushes up all the pop culture he missed while in “Europe” (thus, more wackiness). Also, Childrens Hospital’s Lake Bell drops by—quirky/hot overload!

Ringer (The CW) Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar), as Siobhan (Sarah Michelle Gellar), reveals that she has a twin sister, Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar). Follow? And her BFF Gemma (not Sarah Michelle Gellar) is still missing and presumed dead. It’ll all make sense … eventually?

Sons of Anarchy (FX) Come watch it on the big screen tonight at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) at 8 pm, totally free. Fox Corp. and DirecTV have made nice, so the satellite plug won’t be pulled tonight and we won’t have to initiate Secret Plan B for the viewing. It was a solid plan, which may or may not have involved acting out SOA scenes with puppets.

Also new tonight:
Last Man Standing, Man Up, Dancing With the Stars, Body of Proof (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable (CBS); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); Glee, Raising Hope (Fox); 90210 (The CW); Tosh.0, Workaholics (Comedy Central); Mad Fashion (Bravo); Auction Hunters, Flip Men (Spike); True Life, I Used to Be Fat, Chelsea Settles (MTV); The Onion News Network (IFC)

Looks like it’s “sexy time” on Covert Affairs …

TV Tonight: HIMYM, Ghost Hunters, Bad Girls Club, Rock Center

What’s new tonight:
How I Met Your Mother (CBS) Halloween Episode: Katie Holmes guests as the legen … wait for it … dary “Slutty Pumpkin” that Ted’s been whining about losing for six seasons now. Equally mind-blowing, Barney learns that he’s part … Canadian! They’re dragging out all the scary shit tonight, eh.

Ghost Hunters Live (Syfy) Six-Hour Special: Wait, did you hear that? It’s 360 minutes of not finding a fucking thing—and getting paid for it! Well played, spook scammers.

The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen) Season Finale: The seventh BGC season in New Orleans has been somewhat of a disappointment, with no real breakout “stars” or new twists on the usual Crazy Drunk Bitches = Fistfight formula. If there’s going to be a Season 8, Oxygen should include a fully-stocked gun case along with the fully-stocked bar in the next mansion. I can’t be the first to think of introducing firearms, can I?

Rock Center With Brian Williams (NBC) Series Debut: Now that the nightmare of The Playboy Club (and, locally, We Are Utah) is over, here’s NBC Nightly News’ Brian Williams with … more news? Lifestyle features? Handsome tips? Given the name of the show, a re-imagining of Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert? (Google—sorry—Bing it, kids.) Not really sure what Rock Center is supposed to be, other than yet another primetime newsmagazine whose only distinctions are Williams, his Ocean’s Eleven lineup of correspondents (including Harry Smith, Kate Snow, Ted Koppel, Meredith Vieira, Richard Engel, Dr. Nancy Snyderman, Matt Lauer, Natalie Morales and Ann Curry) and a Halloween-night debut (which would have been a better slot for Grimm, but NBC knows what they’re doing … right?).

Also new tonight:
Scared Shrekless, Dancing With the Stars, Castle (ABC); 2 Broke Girls, Two & a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0 (CBS); The Sing-Off (NBC); Terra Nova, House (Fox); Hoarders (A&E); Bachelorette Party: Las Vegas (Oxygen); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); Ridiculousness, Death Valley, Cuff’d (MTV), Bored to Death, Enlightened (HBO)

Katie Holmes’ pumpkin doesn’t look all that slutty on HIMYM …

TV Weekend: Grimm, Zombie Apocalypse, Allen Gregory

What’s new this weekend:
Chuck, Grimm (NBC, tonight) Season Premiere/Series Debut: Read all about ‘em at CityWeekly.net (Item 2).

Also new tonight:
Some Baseball Shit (Fox); Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC); Nikita, Supernatural (The CW); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Sanctuary (Syfy); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup (E!)

Zombie Apocalypse (Syfy, Saturday) Movie: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 3).

Also new Saturday:
Cops, America’s Most Wanted (Fox); Possessing Piper Rose (Lifetime); The Good Witch’s Family (Hallmark); Dogs 101, Puppies vs. Babies (Animal Planet)

Allen Gregory (Fox, Sunday) Series Debut: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 4).

The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) Come watch it at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) for free at 8 pm, after some Geek Show Halloween madness.

Also new Sunday:
Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Pan Am (ABC); The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, CSI: Miami (CBS); Sister Wives (TLC); Kendra, Dirty Soap (E!); Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, China Il. (Adult Swim); Boardwalk Empire, Hung, How to Make It in America (HBO); Dexter, Homeland (Showtime); Talking Dead (AMC)

Still looking for that damned kid on The Walking Dead this Sunday …

TV Tonight: Project Runway, Community, Beavis & Butt-head

What’s new tonight:
Project Runway (Lifetime) Season Finale: The Final 3 show their goods at Fashion Week (sorry, Mercedes Benz Fashion Week, sheesh), then Heidi Klum and her underlings choose a winner (even if Josh doesn’t win, he’ll get his own spin-off bullying and dressing the hillbillies of Middle America—mark my words). Afterwards, Lifetime premieres Project Accessory, which I’m guessing is some sort of crime show. Yeah, I do watch too much Law & Order …

Community (NBC) After Britta makes the gang take personality tests, she becomes convinced that one of them is a total psychopath … only one? Really? Somehow, this all spins into everyone telling Halloween horror stories and, fingers crossed, a special appearance by Annie’s Boobs (the monkey, you pervs).

Beavis & Butt-head (MTV) Series Return: Read all about it at CityWeekly.net (Item 1).

Also new tonight:
Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, Person of Interest, The Mentalist (CBS); The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle (The CW); It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The League (FX); Gigolos, Dave’s Old Porn (Showtime); Good Vibes (MTV)

No sign of Annie’s Boobs on tonight's Community … well …

TV Tonight: South Park, Psych, Top Chef: Just Desserts

What’s new tonight:
South Park (Comedy Central) Much—exactly, really—as he became obsessed with the Food Network last season, Randy sees a musical in the big city (well, Denver) and goes completely Broadway batshit. Think there’ll be a dozen or so inside references to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Book of Mormon musical? Of course not …

Psych (USA) Just in time for Halloween, there’s a suspiciously vampire-like murder in Santa Barbara—and clues point to Lassiter’s mysterious new girlfriend, who just happens to be played by the O.G. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kristy Swanson. But, really, you’re here for Shawn and Gus in totally ree-dic vampire costumes.

Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo) Season Finale: The final three pastry … cheftestants … fuck that term … compete down to the wire for the $100,000 and the Food & Wine mag swag. It’s all about Orlando! I mean, I don’t have any bets placed or anything.

Also new tonight:
The Middle, Suburgatory, Modern Family, Happy Endings, Revenge (ABC); Survivor: South Pacific (CBS); America’s Next Top Model (The CW); Ghost Hunters (Syfy); The Ultimate Fighter, Blue Mountain State (Spike); Law & Order: UK, Whitechapel (BBC America); Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (Comedy Central); Work of Art (Bravo); (TLC); The Real World (MTV); Penn & Teller Tell a Lie (Discovery); American Horror Story (FX)

South Park goes Broadway tonight and … Wicked?

Broadway Bro Down
Get More: SOUTH
PARKRandy Marsh,Sharon Marsh,more...

TV Tonight: Flip Men, Rachel Zoe Project, Zombies

What’s new tonight:
Flip Men (Spike) Series Debut: Filling (spackling?) the Salt Lake City-based TV series void left by Big Love, Doug Clark and Mike Baird are the Flip Men, entrepreneurs who buy foreclosed houses that could require a little clean-up for resale, or contain “a biohazard, a meth lab or a squatter who just doesn’t want to leave” (bet on one of those; this is Spike, not HGTV). Flip Men also bridges the reality-TV gap between the 385 home-improvement shows and the 429 blue-collar-underbelly shows currently clogging cable and, along with the new Auction Hunters that precedes it, makes the case that maybe Spike wants out of the dude-tube business and would rather be A&E. So, why does there always have to be a skinny one and a bald fat one on these shows?

The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo) Season Finale: It’s Rachel’s first day back at work—but she can’t leave baby Skyler at home! Solution: Bring the show, er, baby, along to a photo shoot. Will Rachel and Rodger (with a “d,” natch) find a way to balance company and family? Only if there’s a fifth season next year—otherwise, that brat’s going on eBay.

Zombies: A Living History (History) Special: A look at the facts (yes, there are some) behind zombies, not just a cheap way for the former History Channel to cash in. Not at all. The legends of Gilgamesh, Vikings, primitive Haiti, the Bible and more are all here, doubters!

Sons of Anarchy (FX) Come watch it on the big screen tonight at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+) at 8 pm, totally free. After this week, DirecTV (Brewvies’ satellite provider) may drop FX and all other Fox channels over yet another money dispute; don’t know there’ll be an SOA showing next Tuesday. Read showrunner Kurt Sutter’s love letter to DirecTV here.

Also new tonight:
Last Man Standing, Dancing With the Stars, Body of Proof (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable (CBS); The Biggest Loser (NBC); The X Factor (Fox); 90210, Ringer (The CW); Tosh.0, Workaholics (Comedy Central); Mad Fashion (Bravo); 19 Kids & Counting, The Little Couple (TLC); Auction Hunters (Spike); I Used to Be Fat, Chelsea Settles (MTV); The Onion News Network (IFC)

Preview: Enjoy Sons of Anarchy while you can, DirecTVers ...

TV Tonight: Bored to Death, Hoarders, Monster In-Laws

What’s new tonight:
Bored to Death (HBO) Jonathan (Jason Schwartzman) goes on The Dick Cavett Show (!) to promote his book. No, Dick Cavett isn’t dead—you’re thinking of Merv Griffin. You weren’t thinking of Merv Griffin? Huh. Anyway, Jonathan’s arch-nemesis shows up and ruins this retro-joyous moment, as arch-nemesis tend to do. Also, Ray (Zack Galifianakis) somehow sets off an AMBER alert, and Ted Danson is waaay funnier here than he is on CSI. Just sayin.’

Hoarders (A&E) Season Premiere: Two more mentally-unstable crap collectors with questionable back-stories are profiled: Kevin, the son of some allegedly famous people, and Mary, who’s obsessed with Victorian houses. Both have too much stuff, and their families aren’t putting up with it anymore. Yeah, it’s a whole new twist this season!

Monster In-Laws (A&E) Series Debut: In-laws don’t get along, so a basic-cable network and a “no-nonsense, unconventional relationship expert” are here to solve centuries of bullshit. But these Monster In-Laws are particularly horrible, horrible bastard people who can only be cured on national television. You know, just like A&E cured hoarding.

Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars, Castle (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Two & a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0 (CBS); The Sing-Off (NBC); Gossip Girl, Hart of Dixie (The CW); Pawn Stars (History); The Bad Girls Club, Bachelorette Party: Las Vegas (Oxygen); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); Ridiculousness, Death Valley, Cuff’d (MTV), Scare Tactics, Urban Legends (Syfy); Enlightened (HBO)

Bored to Death preview twofer: Cavett prep and dormant male nipples …