Heroes & Horatio

Panty Power? Why does NBC’s Heroes continue to kill in the ratings on Monday nights while Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip keeps on losing half that lead-out audience to crap like CSI: Miami and What About Brian? Sure, this week’s Studio 60 piled on the art-vs.-commerce sanctimony while delivering only slightly more real laughs than a Frontline special on quadripeligic poets, but it at least had some near-nekkid Harriet Hayes (Sarah Paulson) nonsense (teased heavily in NBC’s increasingly misleading promos for the show: “Come for the lofty exposition; stay for the topless blonde”). Maybe America just likes ‘em younger and peppier—less time on the field and more scenes in the cheerleaders’ locker rooms could probably do wonders for NBC’s other ratings dog, Friday Night Lights.

Yeeeaaah! Speaking of CSI: Miami, this David Caruso remix of dumbass opening lines from a stunning real number of episodes may or may not explain why CBS’ Baywatch-With-Blood-‘n’-Semen is the most popular show on the planet. Where’s the Rapture (no, not that cowbell-happy band) when you need it?

CSI Miami - Endless Caruso One Liners