What Not to Wear (TLC) Season Premiere: Despite faint reservations that she might actually be a dude, The Only TV Column That Matters™ considers What Not to Wear co-host Stacy London to be kinda hot. So when news of “changes” to the show for its ninth season (which makes it the longest-running series on the devolving hot mess that is the former Learning Channel) made the rounds, I feared the worst. Fortunately, the network isn’t replacing her and Clinton Kelly with castoffs from Trailer Parks & Tiaras or some other TLC tentpole; there’s just a new studio and 360 mirror. Keep on tucking, Stacy!
MasterChef (Fox) Season Finale: One of Gordon Ramsay’s 18 summer shows comes to an end tonight when MasterChef crowns the next great fry-cook you’ll never hear from again ... you donkey!!!
Memphis Beat, Hawthorne (TNT) Season Finales: Also finale-ing for the season tonight are Memphis Beat, that cop show with My Name Is Earl, and Hawthorne, that hospital show with My Name Is Mrs. Will Smith. Somebody watches these ... right?
Also new tonight:
Take the Money & Run, Combat Hospital (ABC); It’s Worth What?, America’s Got Talent (NBC); Pretty Little Liars, The 9 Lives of Chloe King (ABC Family); Billy the Exterminator (A&E); Teen Mom, Awkward (MTV); Web Therapy (Showtime)
Hulu categorizes MasterChef as "Food & Leisure." What's "leisurely" about this?
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