What’s new tonight:
Modern Family (ABC) The Golden Globe-winning sitcom returns with Baby Lily saying “fuck” (actually an implied/bleeped version of “fudge”). Even though the fucking episode has yet to air, some fucking moral crusaders are trying to stop it—like that’s going to fucking happen. Grow the fuck up, shut the fuck up and let ABC thank you for all of the fucking free publicity, you fucking pussies.
American Idol (Fox) Season Premiere: Oh, and fuck this show, while we’re at it.
Royal Pains (USA) Winter Premiere: The other, non-Revenge Hamptons series returns, as Dr. Hank attends a “divorce party” to keep the party planner alive, and rich guy Kassabian is at death’s door (again). Overall, the Hamptons seems like a pretty dangerous place.
Also new tonight:
The Middle, Suburgatory, Happy Endings, Revenge (ABC); Criminal Minds, CSI (CBS); Whitney, Are You There Chelsea?, Harry’s Law, Law & Order: SVU (NBC); One Tree Hill (The CW); Ghost Hunters, Face Off (Syfy); Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC); Hot In Cleveland, The Exes (TV Land); Mistresses (BBC America); True Life (MTV); Top Chef: Texas (Bravo); The Soup (E!)
Couldn’t find a fucking Modern Family clip, so here’s some new Royal Pains:
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