The Big F

You mean "Fuck"? Tomorrow night on IFC, The Only TV Column That Matters™ suggests checking out The F Word, a faux documentary as reported by a guy who's racked up $1 million in FCC fines and, naturally, decides to spend his last day from the belly of the beast in the 2004 Republican Convention in NYC. Funny/weird stuff combining real protests and slumming actors, but I'll be watching for a glimpse of Callie Thorne (Rescue Me's Sheila; also currently appearing on Prison Break). Hey, Rescue Me may have killed her off—I'll take whatever I can get.

Or Just "Foxed"? Fox has pulled the plug on the craptastic game show The Rich List after one virtually unseen episode; same goes for how-did-it-last-this-long? sitcom Happy Hour. This means you'll get an extra ep of The O.C. on Wednesday and a second helping of 'Til Death on Thursday. Celebrate/lament accordingly.

Gay Up! How I Met Your Mother's Neil Patrick Harris (or, for those of you who haven't yet discovered that funny-ass CBS sitcom, Doogie Howser M.D. and/or the guy named Neil Patrick Harris from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) has come out of the closet. His Barney on HIMYM is/was an inspiration to serial-womanizers across the land ... I don't know what to believe anymore ...

The Lost Hit List The only other TV columnist that matters, The San Francisco Chronicle's Tim Goodman, has assembled a rambling list of Lost characters who should die next, now that Eko's has been (here it comes) smoked: Pretty much everyone but Sayid and Charlie. Great, but Season 4 would be nothing but the fucking flashbacks. Isn't that already The Nine?