TV Tonight: Last Man Standing, Ringer, Body of Proof

What’s new tonight:
Last Man Standing (ABC) Series Debut: Since ABC is killing it so efficiently in the comedy department these days with Modern Family, The Middle, Happy Endings, the new Suburgatory and the currently benched Cougar Town, it’s impossible to grasp how visionless, throwback shit like Last Man Standing and Man Up (premiering next Tuesday) snuck into the mix. Tim Allen (Home Improvement—Wiki it) is the titular last man standing, a lunkhead sporting-goods-store marketing director who’s now a work-at-homer surrounded by a wife and three daughters—let the henpecking and wacky gender-specific misunderstandings commence! It’s like the ’90s and According to Jim never happened. Nancy Travis deserves better than this—not much better, but something.

Ringer (The CW) Sarah Michelle Gellar is hangin’ in there as troubled twins Siobahn and Bridget—but this conspiracy is bound come apart soon! Probably not tonight … but soon! If you’ve been wondering how long the latter ex-stripper/junkie will be able to stay off the booze and pills, however, soon is now! Don’t worry, SMG fans; The CW has already canceled H8R, so they can’t afford to lose another chunk of the schedule.

Body of Proof (ABC) This show ain’t so lucky: Sure, it’s possible that Charlie’s Angels or Pan Am could get the ax first, but ABC has to be disappointed with this Dana Delany/Jeri Ryan MILF-fest’s performance against CBS’ Unforgettable—maybe more tank-tops are the answer. Anyway, watch Body of Proof harder tonight as ME doc Megan (Delany) solves a case of waaay too many missing dead bodies—one of which should be Tim Allen’s.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) Accept no tiny-screen substitutes at other bars: The original Sons of Anarchy TV Party is tonight at Brewvies (677 South 200 West, 21+), free on the big screen at 8 pm—be there.

Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable (CBS); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); 90210 (The CW); Tosh.0, Workaholics (Comedy Central); The Rachel Zoe Project, Mad Fashion (Bravo); 19 Kids & Counting, The Little Couple (TLC); Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E); The Onion News Network (IFC)

Even more secrets and lies on Ringer! When will it end?